Some of the mistakes single Christians make during dating/ courtship would include no boundaries, no mentorship and no goal towards marriage.
Many Christians fall into sexual temptations during courtship because they lack boundaries and standards. You cannot be open to late hours, spending the night, always staying behind close doors, getting involved in sexual talks, romance and all the cuddling if you want to wait until marriage.
“No one puts fire in his bosom and not be burned” this is the same as saying, you cannot give openings to sexual temptations and will not be swayed by them. Set boundaries and if you think you cannot handle it, then go to your pastor and plan your wedding.
What about the importance of mentorship?
How can you be in a relationship without involving your pastor, leader or your parents at least ? Some of you are doing hide and seek all in the name of relationship. 3 years now and nobody knows Brother James promised to marry you, who are you deceiving?
Lastly for this post, you cannot stay in a relationship without a plan or goal. You must be able to figure out when the wedding is happening, how you would want to run your family and the purpose of God for your home. There is nothing like, let’s be watching or let’s just continue the relationship and see.
Make plans, pray about them and believe God to direct and help you to achieve your goals. Just like Habakkuk 2:2, write down your visions for your relationship and run with it. I promise you when the appointed time comes God will make it work.
Things You must know as a Christian in Courtship
- The Devil doesn’t want your marriage to Work: this is the honest truth and he will bring all sort of distractions and vulnerability your way, just to keep you in confusion and hinder you from making any reasonable progress, you must be sensitive to this distraction, avoid any kind of distraction or unproductive approach to things, this can keep you on the same spot longer than you ought to be, beware.
- Be Careful of Temptation: No doubt about it, when you are an adult and you are in relationship with the opposite sex, you’re automatically vulnerable, this is a major test on most Christian’s stand with God, even those that have never messed up sexually before, who have kept themselves over the years, the tendency of sexual sin is very high when you are in love, but as a believer, you must ensure you don’t fall victim, so as not to pollute your Christian testimony and marital bliss. Knowing fully well that you’re the light of the world and many people are looking up to you a a role model, you don’t want to be a distraction in whatsoever capacity to the faith of others, you also don’t want to be a distraction to the consecration of the church and other brethren. You must understand that even prayer and fasting at this point in time is not enough, because we have seen situations whereby people prayed together as partner under the same roof and end up having sex with one another because the urge is very high and when you have sex as an adult with a person you love, it builds a strong bond which often time is very difficult to break, thereby making you to desire sexual pleasure with the same person over and over again, this happens to a lot of people, we must be sensitive and obedient to the scriptural pathway to marriage, stay sanctified and undefiled, if you know you are most vulnerable, don’t stay indoors together, let a third party be with you so as to keep things under check, make your meeting to be majorly outdoors, where your senses and discretion will cause you to behave well as a necessity.
- Beware of Intruders: This is especially for people who are full of friends, I am not against friends, but as much as friends can be a blessing to your life, they can also be a curse, they can be weapon in the hand of the devil, so you must be careful of the kinds of people you call friends, you have to maintain boundary reasonably with everyone in your life, don’t allow anyone to talk ill of your partner to you, we have seen cases where the relationship is going on fine, till a third party somewhere came and poison the mind of one person against the other, these are agents of the devil, some of them are on assignment to keep you perpetually single in life, this apples even much more to ladies. At times, the person you call a friend envy you so much and you don’t even know. I have seen a situation where a lady ruin her friend’s relationship and went behind to marry the same guy that was dating her friend before, this is how wicked our world as become, you as a Christian must be prayerful and watchful at the same time.
- Be Prayerful: The Bible says, even though we walk in the flesh, we do not war in the flesh, because the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but they are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds ( 2 Corinthians 10:4) . There are forces that are anti-marital, spell and curses that hinder people from getting married or from getting settled maritally, these ones cannot be dealt with in counselling only, they need prayer an spiritual warfare so as to conquer them, you need to understand that you’re dealing with these forces and so, both partner should embrace consistent prayer and fasting to subdue forces that may want to hinder your marital settlement, the bible says, resist the devil and he will flee, if the both of you come into the unity of faith and agreement, you will be able to resist and subdue the forces of your father’s house which may be responsible for any form of obstacle you may experience. This spiritual approach in prayer and fasting is very important.
Above all, the both of you must submit yourself unto God, in serving God, in prayer, in seeking God and his kingdom purposes, as a way to experience the hand of God in all that you, when you submit yourself to God, the you will be able to resist the devil and truly, he will flee away from you, if the enemy will not be able to get you, or if you must overcome temptation in all realms, then you need to submit yourself to God totally and completely, that is when you will see the help of God, the mercy of God, the Grace of God and the wisdom of God will find expression through you, may the Lord grant you Victory in Jesus name.
What have you learnt from this today? share with someone so they can be blessed.
